Spring Break
Idol brings the "Awww Factor"
Dara Tucker
Issue date: 3/22/07 Section: Exposure
We here at Exposure believe in tackling the hard issues. There is no subject we won't address - no national crisis we will sidestep. In that spirit, and following the lead of every national entertainment publication that was once considered respectable, we're dishing up an "American Idol" rehash this week.
No doubt, the pressing issue on everyone's minds is just how long little Sanjaya Malakar can hang on before being cast into AI oblivion. It seems he's been chosen to secure the 'soccer moms and girls under 13' vote this year. He is obviously in possession of what can only be referred to as the "Awww Factor." As in, "would you look at that puppy dog hair and glistening smile? Awww."
In season one, the title-holder was Jim Veraros. Sure, he was somewhat deficient in the way of talent, but he cried when he talked about his hearing impaired parents who wanted nothing more than to see him succeed as a singer - even if they would never hear him. "Awww."
Season two gave us "Idol's" only successful 'mom vote' candidate - Howdy Doody-esque belter Clay Aiken. "A strong wind would blow him away, yet he finds the strength to sing with the shrill gusto of Celine Dion. Awww."
Season three produced crooner John Stevens. "You just want to bake chocolate chip cookies for him and sing him a sweet lullaby as you tuck him into bed in his one-piece sleeper. Awww."
Season four brought us Anthony Federov. Childhood health crisis? Definite "Awww Factor."
And who could forget season five's loveable Chicken Little look-alike, Kevin Covias? "Anyone who would be brave enough to provide us with soul-free versions of songs made popular by Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight AND Marvin Gaye must not have a clue 'what's going on' and obviously needs some encouragement. Let's vote for him 'cause we just like saying it so much. Awww."
And proudly continuing this great legacy is dear, dear Sanjaya. Sweet doll of a tone-deaf cutie that he is, his days are surely numbered. Barring the securing of talent, he may have another two weeks before his reign of terror is ended by the hand of fate.
No doubt, the pressing issue on everyone's minds is just how long little Sanjaya Malakar can hang on before being cast into AI oblivion. It seems he's been chosen to secure the 'soccer moms and girls under 13' vote this year. He is obviously in possession of what can only be referred to as the "Awww Factor." As in, "would you look at that puppy dog hair and glistening smile? Awww."
In season one, the title-holder was Jim Veraros. Sure, he was somewhat deficient in the way of talent, but he cried when he talked about his hearing impaired parents who wanted nothing more than to see him succeed as a singer - even if they would never hear him. "Awww."
Season two gave us "Idol's" only successful 'mom vote' candidate - Howdy Doody-esque belter Clay Aiken. "A strong wind would blow him away, yet he finds the strength to sing with the shrill gusto of Celine Dion. Awww."
Season three produced crooner John Stevens. "You just want to bake chocolate chip cookies for him and sing him a sweet lullaby as you tuck him into bed in his one-piece sleeper. Awww."
Season four brought us Anthony Federov. Childhood health crisis? Definite "Awww Factor."
And who could forget season five's loveable Chicken Little look-alike, Kevin Covias? "Anyone who would be brave enough to provide us with soul-free versions of songs made popular by Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight AND Marvin Gaye must not have a clue 'what's going on' and obviously needs some encouragement. Let's vote for him 'cause we just like saying it so much. Awww."
And proudly continuing this great legacy is dear, dear Sanjaya. Sweet doll of a tone-deaf cutie that he is, his days are surely numbered. Barring the securing of talent, he may have another two weeks before his reign of terror is ended by the hand of fate.
Viewing Comments 1 - 6 of 7
Lynn Mullen
posted 3/22/07 @ 5:03 PM CST
You are right about all the other with the awwww factor but you got it wrong with Clay....he has the WOW factor!
carol
posted 3/22/07 @ 7:55 PM CST
Clay Aiken is one in a million and better than anything to come out of idol--now and forever! But have you checked him out lately. He's put on some weight, has longer hair and often sports stubble --and become quite the hunk! Understated sexuality that is quite quite quite appealing!
star
monica
posted 3/23/07 @ 10:17 PM CST
I personally feel Clay should be considered the "WOW" factor. I also think referencing his fans as the "mom vote" was derogatory as saying "fans" should have sufficed. (Continued…)
Heather
posted 3/24/07 @ 1:38 AM CST
HOWDY DOODY-esque???? Come on now .....Have you taken a look at Clay lately ?? Certainly no resemlance whatsoever to DOODY!! Right now CLAY AIKEN is HOT!! I suggest you take in one of his concerts sometime. (Continued…)
Deb
posted 3/24/07 @ 12:37 PM CST
I agree with the above. Clay was awww cute in AI2 AND ALSO had TALENT!!! He's all grown up now and HOT! He's also got charisma, which the other awws didn't. (Continued…)
Gravitar
posted 3/26/07 @ 8:23 AM CST
OK I appreciate humor but when you say a 6'1" guy at 175 lbs would be blown away by a strong wind, I gotta shake my head and wonder where you get such crazy shit. (Continued…)
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